Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Effect of cannabis on motivation

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Hey Jim, Just reading your article, sorry that I'm only getting to it now. I've had one crazy headache yesterday. I will add things here as I find them. I know it is after the due date of the current assignment, but hopefully I will be able to give you some tips and suggestions that might also be useful for future assignments.

1. Amotivational syndrome is mentioned in a sentence. This should start with a lower case 'A'.

2. for 'diminished inspiration to participate in social situations and activities' in users You put this section in single quotes. Where is this from, it needs a citation if it is a direct quote. In such a case you will have to cite not only the source but also the page number. Plus it needs to be in double quotes. (See page 170-173 in the APA manual on how to cite quotations)

3. This citation:(Paule, Allen, Bailey, Scallet, Ali, & Brown, 1992; it has 6 authors so you do not have to list the whole lot. For works listing 6 or more authors, cite only the surname of the first author followed by et al. (see page 175 in the APA manual).  So, it will be Paule et al., 1992

Linssen (discuss • contribs) 05:44, 28 October 2014 (UTC)

Update 1
1. Under History > Use:  I added the word "industrial" before hemp simply to clarify the use of hemp. I also added a comma and a missing period.

2. the term:  'marihuana'  should be italicized (and thereafter not in italics, see comment 3 below)

3. The sentence: While the term 'Amotivational Syndrome' was first used by US government researcher, Dr. Louis West, UCLA, to capture a series of behaviours he claimed to have proven associations with cannabis use. This research was later found to be 'purposefully biased' and 'unscientific' (Lee, 2012).
 * the term "amotivational syndrome" needs to be in all lower case and double quotation marks used the first time you introduce the term. Thereafter, do not use quotation marks.   Alternatively you can italicize the term (again the first time you introduce it, thereafter, don't italicize. (see APA manual page 91).
 * 'purposefully biased' and 'unscientific' I take it is direct quotes from the article you cited, you will have to cite the page number if you do that, and use double quotes. (More info on how to use single or double quotes see page 92 of the APA manual)

Linssen (discuss • contribs) 06:21, 28 October 2014 (UTC)

Update 2
1. Under the heading Neurological I have noticed the same kind of thing I mentioned above. I will correct these for you from now on. Like I said before, things like the word "serotonin" etc. all in lower case. Don't use single quotes etc. etc. etc. Have also fixed some typos.

2. you have some a few dead links displaying like this W:Neurochemical in this section (hypothalamus, amygdala, VTA, dopamine). They are currently not linking to any pages that is why. You might want to go fix those :)

3. Found some more single quotes lol. And I'm not sure about that exclamation mark in APA?? Probably can do without it, I think.

Linssen (discuss • contribs) 06:39, 28 October 2014 (UTC)

Update 3
1. I've only noticed this now, you might have to check all your sources, but when you cite multiple sources in-text, then you have to cite them in alphabetical order -- In the same order they appear in the reference list, and this includes citations that would have an et al. (see page 177 onwards in the APA manual)

For example

This is incorrect:

(Kalat, 2013; Tinklenberg, Roth, & Kopel, 1976; Green, Kavanagh, & Young, 2003)

It should be like this:

(Green, Kavanagh, & Young, 2003; Kalat, 2013; Tinklenberg, Roth, & Kopel, 1976)

2.   Found another one of those long ones under Positive: (Treadway, Ansari, Baldwin, Buckholz, Cowan, Li, Woodward, Schwartzman, & Zaid, 2012). This should just be (Treadway et al., 2012)

3.Under Negative you used a hyphen after the starting word/phrase of the dot-point. This should probably rather be a colon. Example : Stigma: Cannabis users in Western countries report ostracisation leading to feelings of social stigma...

4. And I've noticed you have a lot of periods missing lol

5. Loss of Autonomy/Opportunity needs a citation. Also, for Loss of income you have cited a website. Usually, for Psychology papers written in APA at UC they don't want us to cite websites at all. This one was probably best left for the external links section.

Linssen (discuss • contribs) 07:24, 28 October 2014 (UTC)

Update 4
1. Under the section Research: You mention the word joint for the first time, but you have not defined the word joint anywhere else (e.g., "The term joint is an informal term used to referrer to a rolled marijuana cigarette."

I know what a joint refers to, you know what a joint refers to, but what if Johnny's naive granny reads this page and thinks it is some other type of joint (like her artificial knee joint)...and no, Jim, I have not been smoking weed ;) lol. You also might want to link it to the wiki word joint as well.

2. In the table there is a few issues with the numbering. I fixed most of them I think, but in general with APA at the start of a phrase/sentence you have to start by writing the number out in words. e.g., ''Four-hundred people smoked weed in Civic today. Seven of them were taking other drugs as well, but the other 393 did not.''

Also numbers under 10 are usually written out in full, but there are other rules for numbers, way too long to list here. (see page 111 onwards in the APA manual).

Linssen (discuss • contribs) 08:51, 28 October 2014 (UTC)

Update 5
1. Under the Bio-psychological heading I made some edits: I added punctuation, fixed a typo in the heading and changed the BIS/BAS terms to lower case and in APA format.

2. This section:

Social-Cognitive

The Socio-Cognitive Perspective states that there is no high/low motivational level. Instead, motivation is internal, personally defined and viewed in context. Success is contingent upon the completion of an internal series of goals which is constantly being assessed based on context.

I edited it so it now looks like this:

Socio-cognitive

The socio-cognitive perspective states that there is no high/low motivational level. Instead, motivation is internal, personally defined and viewed in context. Success is contingent upon the completion of an internal series of goals which is constantly being assessed based on context.

Linssen (discuss • contribs) 11:01, 28 October 2014 (UTC)

Update 6
This section:

Acute intoxication vs. (should be versus...you can only use vs. in brackets) state/trait change - The World Health Organisation stated "The evidence for an "amotivational syndrome" among adults consists largely of case histories and observational reports (e.g., comma missing after the e.g., Kolansky and(should be &) Moore, 1971; Millman and Sbriglio, 1986). The small number of controlled field and laboratory studies have not found compelling evidence for such a syndrome (Dornbush, 1974; Negrete, 1983; Hollister, 1986)... (I)t(needs to be in square brackets) is doubtful that cannabis use produces a well defined amotivational syndrome. It may be more parsimonious to regard the symptoms of impaired motivation as symptoms of chronic cannabis intoxication rather than inventing a new psychiatric syndrome."(this should be in a block quote. Any direct quotation that is more than 40 words needs to be in a block quote. That is, it should be indented a half and inch from the left margin) (Barnwell et. al, 2006, p.?)(and you are going to need to reference the page number. ALSO, this sounds like a secondary source to me so you would have to add... the primary source as cited by Barnwell et al., 2006, p. ? )

That said, the lecturers usually prefer that we do not use direct quotes.

I edited it for you. It now looks like this:

The evidence for an 'amotivational syndrome' among adults consists largely of case histories and observational reports (e.g. Kolansky & Moore, 1971; Millman & Sbriglio, 1986). The small number of controlled field and laboratory studies have not found compelling evidence for such a syndrome (Dornbush, 1974; Negrete, 1983; Hollister, 1986)... [I]t is doubtful that cannabis use produces a well defined amotivational syndrome. It may be more parsimonious to regard the symptoms of impaired motivation as symptoms of chronic cannabis intoxication rather than inventing a new psychiatric syndrome. (? as cited in Barnwell et. al., 2006, p.?)
 * Acute intoxication versus state/trait change: The World Health Organisation stated:

NOTE: You will just have to add the page number.

Linssen (discuss • contribs) 11:50, 28 October 2014 (UTC)

Update 7
1. In the conclusion you wrote "From the research for this chapter, it appears to me ". You cannot say that, you have to write in the third person. For example, in reviewing the literature the author suggests. I have, however, changed it to "In reviewing the literature it would appear that...". Hope you are happy with that.

2. I also removed some of those pesky single quotation marks that you kept adding everywhere as well as the +/- thingo at the end. That is unfortunately in accordance with APA format. See the changes I made.

3. Under the References section I just added a hanging indent to comply with APA format.

Final remarks: All in all it was a good read Jim! It was really easy to ready, and easy to follow. Perhaps a bit too informal in places. Hopefully the things that I have pointed out will help you with your future papers.

Good luck :) Linssen (discuss • contribs) 12:10, 28 October 2014 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:55, 7 November 2014 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:19, 30 November 2014 (UTC)