Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Role models and motivation

Comments
Hi

Your chapter is really interesting, and looking great. I noticed a few small things you might want to check (thought it's probably only that you haven't completed it yet). Your citations appear to be italicised, and possibly in a different font. Also, you mention 'Parents and teachers can function as role models to youth through interactions'. It may just be me but I think using 'to' implies it's something that happens to the teen (almost involuntarily), I wonder if saying 'for' would be more appropriate given it's not the person modelling the behaviour that chooses whether they are a role model, it is the person observing it. Does that make sense?

I like the layout of your page - the boxes make it stand out as a little different! I look forward to reading the rest of it :)

CFD (discuss • contribs) 22:23, 17 October 2014 (UTC)

Hi there. I was just reading through your chapter. When I first saw you chapter title I instantly thought of Banduras experiments with social learning theory and roles models. I thought, if you weren't already planning to, that this would be a good addition to your chapter. It looks like it’s coming along well though! Good luck!

Laney3691 (discuss • contribs)

Hi there!

I was having a good read of your chapter. I really liked it, it was quite informative.

I just felt though, that some of the sections were a touch too long. Maybe you could break them up a bit? This isn't a huge problem, will just help with ease of reading though.

I also noticed that under "Loss of self" your " For instance..." may look better as a case study. (You can see my page for that syntax: | Depression and Motivation )

I also felt your chapter could use some more linking sentences, to bring everything together and so you can see how it interrelates. A conclusion would help with this. But also linking introductory and conclusive sentences at the start/end of each paragraph.

Also, when you talk about Emma Watson, who I agree is a great role model, you say "Unlike other celebrities", which I think would be better as "Unlike some other celebrities" because there are other good ones like Emma Watson.

I also noticed when you listed different disorders having a positive role model can help decrease the likelihood of, that you mention depression and mood disorders. Considering depression is a mood disorder, maybe only listing one of these would be better.

Finally, I made a couple of tiny edits on your pages, e.g. deleted a redundant word and fixed a bit of syntax.

Other than these small things, I really like your chapter. It looks very deeply and the relevant theories. It uses colour and pictures well to help engage audience. It is clear and well written.

Best of luck! Laney3691 (discuss • contribs)

APA style captions for images and tables
I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see http://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/content.php?pid=113807&sid=1208571 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:37, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Spelling
Hi, just picked up and fixed a spelling mistake for you which i'm sure was just an accident! The last name for Emma Watson's character was Granger :) --Can Rogerthat (discuss • contribs) 05:44, 25 October 2014 (UTC)

Pictures captions
Hi there, just noticed you were looking for some feedback on the forum, had a quick read through and your chapter looks great, really love all the colour, I did notice that your pictures have no caption with them, I am not sure, but I think where possible they need to have a caption, particularly the one of Bandura, I hope this helps, good luck Josephineanne (discuss • contribs)

Suggestions
Hi

I've just had a quick look and your chapter is looking good, just a few suggestions:

You've defined elaborated really well 'role models', I think you could probably do with something very short and to the point about 'motivators', particularly if you're going to use other terms for it like influence. You often use 'model' throughout the rest, I think you might need to outline how people modelling behaviour motivates others to behave in the same manner (sorry if you've done this and I've missed it!).

You need to have a look at your headings. I noticed James had posted the wiki standard on your page. I think we're all in the habit of using all caps though!

I think the standard is also to put Figure 1 etc under photos with a small description. This would probably be especially beneficial for the photos of theorists.

You've talked about adolescents, and then moved to theorists, and then moved back to youth. I wonder if it would flow more smoothly if you moved the theorists first, and then moved on to specify how it works with different ages (you might also want to specify what you mean by 'adolescent' and 'youth').

The only other thing is your Reference list appears to have some strange syntax showing.

You've done well, I look forward to reading the final copy.

Chelsi CFD (discuss • contribs) 12:48, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:07, 18 November 2014 (UTC)

RenaeLN (discuss • contribs) 06:59, 21 November 2014 (UTC)