Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Personality and achievement motivation

Comment
Hi, Just had a look at your chapter. I would suggest Hope that helps :) Connorkaye (discuss • contribs) 03:33, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
 * a more indepth overview at the start of the academic achievement section
 * "Even over this period of time this factor is still a strong predictor. Smrtnik-Vitulić and Zupančič (2011) discuss that the factor of openness is commonly found to correlate with academic achievement. However, intelligence can come across as this factor within openness and therefore is not a valid predictor of how personality affects this behaviour." This sentence should be reworded as it is difficult to understand.
 * You could also add another heading under academic achievement which discusses gender differences. Since you discuss this subject specifically it should be differentiated from the rest of the paragraph.

Hi, Just some more advice.

In terms of flow in your chapter, you have a very logical style. its seems like its basically: here is a fact -> here is the study that backs it up. this is really good as far as reporting research but what might improve the readability is more of a casual flow. so maybe including anecdotes or example stories about people with different personality traits and their motivation? you sort of do this in the introduction with walt disney/cathy freeman you could do a quiz that describe two people personalities and asks who is most likely to achieve. Or for example a lot of successful people like to tell stories about their childhood or things that influenced them. Including something like that at appropriate intervals through the chapter could enhance readability. Hope that helps :) Connorkaye (discuss • contribs) 00:47, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi, There’s lots or really interesting material in your chapter and the reading list is very impressive. You mention three main areas of achievement (in general, in sports and in academia). Is your aim to focus mainly on academic achievement? Were you planning to do much on sports? I was wondering why sports has the same level of importance in the heading but hardly any coverage compared to academic achievement? Should sports maybe just feature as part of your general discussion? Also, the section on achievement in general is very short. You obviously have enough material to work with in relation to academic achievement. You might want to change the overall structure slightly to reflect that.
 * The other area you might want focus on is editing your work. My main suggestions are:
 * 1) Have a close look at the structure of some of your sentences just to make sure they are complete.  For example, it is worth having a closer look at some sentences (like the second one in this quote from your chapter): “There are three Personality characteristics that can effect an individual’s achievement motivation. The first of which is the five-factor model of personality traits put forward by Costa and McCrae (1992).” “Neuroticism is regarding impulse control, anxiety, moodiness, and the degree of emotional stability.”
 * 2) Also, have a close look for typos. For example, a few times you refer to ‘extroversion’ instead of ‘extraversion’.U3092375 (discuss • contribs) 06:31, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi there
I’ve made some minor edits to your page by way of spelling, grammar and syntax. One of these edits was capitalising ‘Big Five/5’, as I believe it is a commonly-used name and is a proper noun. I second the suggestion to have another look at some of your sentences for flow. One such suggestion is this one: “Desire for control is also seen to predict individual’s motivation for achievement for challenging tasks in general (Burger, 1985). A study by Burger (1985) …”. I would suggest amending to something like “Desire for control has also been shown to predict individual’s motivation for achievement for challenging tasks in general, as demonstrated by Burger, (1985). In this study…”. I hope this is helpful. Good work and good luck :) Hayley U3017556 (discuss • contribs) 10:02, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:26, 23 November 2015 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:31, 26 November 2015 (UTC)