Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Endometriosis and emotion

Suggestions
I thought this was a really detailed and extensive outline! I did notice, however, that you have a lot of information and as such you may find yourself struggling to stick to the word limit as you start fleshing out your points. I noticed a couple of areas I thought you could reduce/ remove if you do find yourself running out of words: remove the aetiology section since as you state there isn't any real evidence yet; if you're really struggling you could also just briefly describe the symptoms and add condense the section down into one whole section instead of three; in the area 'What is emotion?' you could probably also remove what affect is and how it differs to emotion since I didn't see affect referred anywhere else (I'm pretty sure anyway- sorry if I'm wrong!); lastly the different theories of emotion probably also not as important as the rest of your sections so again if you need the words this could be removed. Also, i'm pretty sure co morbid should be hyphenated (co-morbid). Hope this helps! - u3067591

Hey there, I'm looking forward to reading your finished chapter - its coming along great at the moment. For your references, remember to add a hanging intent. You can do this by having the code { { Hanging indent | 1 =  at the start of your references and  } }  at the end (check out my references if my directions don't make sense). I hope this helps in some way! --Brittany (u3117719) (discuss • contribs) 09:57, 1 September 2018 (UTC)

Hey guys, Thanks for the feedback! oh my gosh Brittany, I had no idea how to do the indent! thank you so much!

Hey Zoe, me again! I stumbled back onto your page (thinking I hadn't been here before) and saw that your references still didn't have the indent on them, so I added the indent into your code only to come here and find that I'd already made the suggestion!😶 Silly me, anyway I hope I've helped! Good luck with the assignment! --Brittany (u3117719) (discuss • contribs) 02:58, 21 October 2018 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:04, 1 October 2018 (UTC)

New survey results
May be of interest: http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/survey-looks-at-how-women-are-dealing-with-endometriosis-pain/10333996 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:49, 3 October 2018 (UTC)

Hey Jtneill, I think its super important that they undertake research regarding the therapeutic benefits of medical marijuana, particularly for women with endometriosis. However, I find the framing of triple J's article rather problematic, the use of phrases like "Apply heat, get high: this is how other women are dealing with endometriosis" comes across as though they are promoting the use of illicit marijuana for pain management especially when juxtaposed next to survey results that suggest women who used cannabis had lower rates of adverse events than women treating their pain through exercise. Whilst I understand they did say at the end of the article that they don't encourage women to try cannabis for pain management, the article comes across like a promising escape for a lot of vulnerable women whose lives sometimes feel controlled and suppressed by the the painful symptoms associated with this disease. The article also has a very narrow view of the subject and doesn't consider that endometriosis can have more broader impacts than just pain, they failed to mention that anxiety and depression are more prevalent in women with endometriosis, given that cannabis use has also been found to correlate with anxiety and depression, I fear that the use of non-medical cannabis for pain management may exasperate other problems for women with endometriosis, a consequence I feel wasn't expressed in the article. Nevertheless, it will be interesting to see the results of further research into the use of medical marijuana for endometriosis pain management. U3096514 (discuss • contribs) 07:12, 21 October 2018 (UTC) U3096514

Further suggestions
Hey, I really enjoyed reading through your topic! I went through and fixed up any grammatical errors I could find. A couple of things that I noticed when I was reading through was that some of your sentences were very long so I broke them up into two separate sentences. Also, something that I used to always do before someone else picked me up on it is when discussing studies always using the word found to describe results (e.g. Seligman found learned helplessness in dogs). Try using other words such as demonstrated, observed, reported etc so that it doesn't begin to sound too repetitive. I did this for you in a few places throughout. Also, its obvious that you've put a huge amount of time into researching the issue which is great! You do have a lot of references throughout, however, and I noticed in a few places you add multiple references for the one sentence. Maybe try only using the two most recent/applicable references and you might find you're able to reduce your reference list since its at nearly 1500 words and use the extra words else where. Hope this helps! --- u3067591

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:20, 12 November 2018 (UTC)