Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Student engagement and learning

Heading casing
-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:21, 4 September 2021 (UTC)

General feedback
Hi. I have provided some comprehensive feedback below:

1. I would initially consider revising the long heading you have: "2.1	What factors influence how student engagement can be fostered to improve learning?" -> Far too long.

2. I like the use of the focus question box and the engaging pictures :)

3. Perhaps make figure #2 bigger?

4. You should consider linking words in the text to alternative sources for example in the overview, I would link the words: ""disinterested", "disengaged", "educators". Do this throughout with words that stand out and need defining. For an example see this chapter:

https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2021/Indigenous_Australian_well-being

5. I would change the overview. I find it to be quite informal and 'chatty'. An element of this is fine, but I would make it more professional where possible. I would also make it more informative. You need to explicitly say what the chapter will cover, give some more background and nicely summarise what the reader will be reading! Check out the chapter I linked above ^ or alternatively have a look at older chapters.

6. "Table one" title should be below it, as per APA. I really like that you linked the heading in the table to links!!!

7. Consider making headings in the coloured info boxes centred, bold and bigger. I really like the section on SDT because it is colourful and interactive. But you need to make the little headings stand out.

8. I am assuming the autonomy and motivation section is incomplete. I like the pictures throughout, however! Happy editing :)

General feedback 2
Hi,

I saw the link to your book chapter on the discussion page and I have had a look at it for you. I have some general feedback, I have added some clarification templates to the chapter with more detailed descriptions below. The numbered list matches the clarification templates and is in the order they occur in your chapter:

General points:
 * Great use of focus boxes and examples to aid in the descriptions of the ‘seeds’.
 * Very well written, and easy to follow and understand, with informative and interesting figures and pictures
 * Very good idea to have the ‘Key points’ boxes at the end of the sections
 * You may need to confirm the location of the table caption. In the examples page provided by James, all the titles are at the top of the table, and my referencing guide says the title and 'Table 1' is at the top. The following links show what James has provided:
 * https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Assessment/Chapter/Tables
 * https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Wikiversity/Tables

Detailed points:

(U3186267 (discuss • contribs) 04:23, 7 October 2021 (UTC)
 * 1) My resource on secondary referencing for APA 7 says that the word ‘in’ should be used instead of ‘by’
 * 2) “…pressure and higher enjoyment…” – Should this be “lowers pressure and results in higher enjoyment”?
 * 3) “…it is elementary for an educator to 'tell' or 'direct' students…” - Perhaps clarify what you are suggesting about this method by saying it is ‘elementary’
 * 4) “…is a factor the influences…” – change ‘the’ to ‘that’
 * 5) “Intrinsic motivation fosters the highest level of autonomy (Figure 8) and in the SDT framework, providing scaffolding for autonomy support (AS) in the classroom.” – Some awkwardness in this sentence – Remove ‘and’? Or possibly use “fosters the highest level of autonomy (Figure 8) in the SDT framework, and provides scaffolding for autonomy support (AS) in the classroom”.
 * 6) “AS is shown by an educator's respect for the students’ opinions and feelings, providing opportunities to choose, encouragement of independent problem-solving, and provision of time for thinking.” – A bit awkward. Perhaps you could say “AS is shown by an educator's respect for the students’ opinions and feelings, the provision of opportunities for choice and time for thinking, and the encouragement of independent problem-solving.

General feedback 3
Hi! Iv’e found a video which I thought might be useful to include in your external links. It’s a Tedtalk which discusses emotional engagement in learning and provides 5 key characteristics :) - --TaraU3187760 (discuss • contribs) 12:38, 14 October 2021 (UTC) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfXNn51OoxM

General feedback 4
Hi there! Read through your chapter and it's fantastic how interactive it is, however, figures 1 and 10 are very cute but do not contribute to the topic. --U3203392 (discuss • contribs) 20:49, 17 October 2021 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:20, 29 October 2021 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:15, 23 November 2021 (UTC)