Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2023/Freedom and motivation

Initial suggestions
Thanks for tackling this topic.

Some initial suggestions:
 * This is a challenging topic (because it is broad and could connect with philosophy), but it is fascinating.
 * Focus on motivation and, specifically, the effects of freedom on motivation
 * Perhaps consider:
 * lack of freedom vs too much freedom pros and cons for motivation
 * What is the optimal amount of choice? What else does this depend on?
 * What psychological theories can help to understand? What is the main research in this area?
 * Check out other freedom-related chapters and see how you can build on, link to, and integrate with that work.

Let me know if I can do anything else as you go along.

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:13, 6 August 2023 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:24, 19 September 2023 (UTC)

Chapter comments
I've made some edits to the following sections of your chapter: Overview, Reflection question, Case study and Intrinsic motivation. Please let me know how you feel about these edits and I'll continue to edit over the next couple of weeks.

In relation to Morris' reference, does Morris mean to distinguish between not having the freedom to act or make choices and not having the authority or power to make choices or act? Also, is the context of Morris' reference around self-autonomy? As loss of individual freedom would be disempowering on its own but so would not having the authority to make decisions or choices about self. I'd suggest some clarification around what Morriss is arguing.

--JasnaM (discuss • contribs) 01:17, 26 September 2023 (UTC)


 * Hi Jasna, tanks for the regular feedback and edits, much appreciated!! U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:40, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Hi Thrainn,

Your book chapter is looking great so far! Just wished to make a minor suggestion in regards to your case studies. I have noticed that you have a few different ones, and I was suggesting that to avoid possible confusion, perhaps labelling each case study with a number may help, as I was reading them I thought they were linked. For example, a basic 'Case study 1', 'Case study 2' etc, or have a unique title for each can help personalise the content more.

Kind regards, Angela

(U3227684 (discuss • contribs)=U3227684) (U3227684 (discuss • contribs)=U3227684 19:58, 4 October 2023 (UTC).


 * Hi Angela, yes good idea!! Thanks. U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:41, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Chapter Edits
Hi Thrainn @U3217955, I have read through your chapter today - it is looking good :) Your paragraphs are mostly cohesive, language tone/style is appropriate, the structure is clear, and your spelling/grammar is much better than you made out in your post :)

Couple of improvement suggestions (in addition to the comments I directly posted on your book chapter page - sorry if they make it a bit tedious to edit now but I couldn't think of a better way to offer assistance). Also, I apologise in advance if any of my feedback comes across as explaining stuff you already are competent at - I am really just trying to help as per your discussion post request.

• I feel your chapter would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the Overview - while I know your topic, I am not as clear what your argument is in relation to your topic. This would be one or two sentences that clearly and directly respond to your chapter question or prompt. The thesis statement should be succinct and focused solely on the argument that you intend to support throughout the chapter.

• there is some repetition that you may want to address - two sentences in a row that start with the same word. Alternative wording choice may give a more natural flow

• you may want to check the use of personal pronouns such as I, you, or we in your writing. I know our audience is a general reader, but usually in academic writing it is better to avoid using first person language and use 3rd person language instead. However, I can see in the Book Chapter Guidelines that 1st or 2nd person is ok for examples, case studies, feature boxes

• I also recommend you keep a check on apostrophe usage (ownership) and word capitalisation (proper nouns - specific person, place, organisation, or thing) as you continue to edit your chapter. I fixed a bunch of these for you today which you can view by comparing two versions in the History tab

• Some of your prepositions are incorrect, which is impacting your overall clarity. Prepositions are words that show the relationships between nouns, noun phrases and other parts of a sentence. These are words like to, on, in, from, with, and for. I read the page aloud and if I stumble when reading, that usually gives me a clue about an incorrect preposition.

Hope that helps and all the best for your chapter. Let me know if I can help further or if you need any clarification.

PS I have loaded a graphic about comma use onto your discussion post, that Studiosity added to one of my submissions, which you may find helpful :) Studiosity is a great place to upload your near completed document for a grammar check - it is a free service UC provides to students - you can get access from our eLearn site - Syllabus page under Welcome there is a link to Help and Studiosity is under the UC Study Resources heading.

Best regards, Jorja -- JorjaFive (discuss • contribs) 09:45, 28 September 2023 (UTC)

Hi Again Thrainn, I have updated your Reference list so it uses en-dash (–) between the page numbers. As you add your other references, you can keep them consistent by copying the en-dash character from this message :) Best regards, Jorja -- JorjaFive (discuss • contribs) 11:12, 3 October 2023 (UTC)


 * Hi Jorja, this has been very helpful. Thank you. U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:41, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Chapter Edits (in-text referencing)
Hi Thrainn, I noticed there were some errors in your in-text references, so I went through and edited the format to be in line with APA 7. Just to clarify, in-text references with two authors should follow that format of (Author & Author, Year) or Author and Author (Year). For example, instead of including a comma after the first author like (Gagné, & Deci, 2005), it should be (Gagné & Deci, 2005). Same with "et al." Instead of (Bartholomew, et al., 2011), it should be (Bartholomew et al., 2011). The UC referencing guide is a great resource for APA referencing, there are lots of examples on there :) All the best, --U3230003 (discuss • contribs) 10:40, 30 September 2023 (UTC)


 * Hello, much appreciated. Thanks! U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:42, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Chapter edits: Reactance case study, reactance, learned helplessness and quiz
Hi Thrainn,

I've made some substantial edits to the above sections. The main reasons for the edits were 'comma splicing errors'. It seemed like there were usually two ideas in each sentence, which made some of the text hard to read. I'd encourage you to write in shorter sentences. If you find that your sentence runs longer than one line and there is a comma in there, consider separating it into two.

All the best with your chapter.

--JasnaM (discuss • contribs) 01:32, 5 October 2023 (UTC)


 * Hi Jasna, again much appreciated, been very helpful. U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:42, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:01, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:42, 8 November 2023 (UTC)