Talk:Motivation and emotion/Textbook/Motivation/Gambling

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Wow, I've only had a quick look but this is really shaping up fast - nice work. One very (very) minor tip: -- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:59, 1 November 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) APA style - 461 - 465 -> 461-465 (for pages numbers, there is no space before and after -).

Here's some more feedback, based on a closer review of your current draft: -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:43, 2 November 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall, currently, I'd say 75% done, probably CR-level - with potential for higher with some redrafting. Well done on getting a solid first draft up. Take or leave any of these suggestions - mostly they are about a bit of restructuring to improve overall flow and logic, with some APA style suggestions.
 * 2) Include a brief definition of gambling in the Introduction (I realise an expanded definition is also in the glossary).
 * 3) Gambling definition - the adopted definition seems to closely match the philosophical definition (I'm not sure of the distinction being made).
 * 4) Good to see the Australian focus, but I'm curious as to how the connection between motivation and gambling differs cross-culturally - is there anything particularly unique about gambling in Australia? (It looks like the rest of the content is not specific to Australia; perhaps the Gambling in Australia section then could be put into a separate side-box/highlight box since it's not really part of the main narrative). Perhaps to give a greater focus on gambling research in Australia, focus on citing from key government and federal grant research findings in the area e.g., Uni of Western Sydney has been doing work in this area e.g., http://pubapps.uws.edu.au/news/index.phtml?act=view&story_id=1091, also see http://www.aph.gov.au/library/INTGUIDE/sp/gambling_ebrief.htm, http://www.olgr.nsw.gov.au/gaming_research_year.asp, http://www.pc.gov.au/projects/inquiry/gambling-2009, http://www.pc.gov.au/projects/inquiry/gambling-2009/report etc.
 * 5) Motivation definition - maybe tailor this to a gambling context?
 * 6) Emotion definition - this is a somewhat complex conceptualisation (the claim that it is the most holistic is a bit (overly?) bold?) - perhaps it could be simplified - the key point seems to be a conceptual difference between positive and negative emotions, both of which are triggered by gambling experiences.
 * 7) APA style
 * 8) Use ampersands inside brackets for citations e.g., (Griffiths and Delfabbro, 2002) --> (Griffiths & Delfabbro, 2002) and if there is a subsequent citation of the same source within a paragraph, do not repeat the year, i.e., (Griffiths & Delfabbro).
 * 9) Citations in brackets should be in alphabetical order e.g., fix (Reeve, 2009; Chantral, Vallerand and Vallieres, 1995)
 * 10) et al -> et al.
 * 11) Cite all authors on first citation e.g., check Lee et al.
 * 12) Check that subsequent citations of references with three or more authors use first name and et al e.g., Chantral, Vallerand and Vallieres (1995) -> Chantral et al. (1995) after first citation of it with all authors.
 * 13) Avoid one-sentence paragraphs (usually a paragraph would be 3 to 5 sentences long)
 * 14) Explain South Oaks Gambling Screen
 * 15) What is problem gambling (perhaps explain in Introduction, Definitions - or it could be a Focus Question)?
 * 16) Lee et al - what were the other three factors?
 * 17) Maybe introduce the Focus Questions as part of the Introduction - and explain why these are important issues. Whet the reader's appetite - and then provide the more detailed answers.
 * 18) The rest of the focus questions are reasonably well addressed. Other topics perhaps to consider include the relationship between personality and gambling (are some vulnerable?) and the psychology of risk-taking. You may also be interested to consider "gambling addiction" as distinct from or related to problem gambling. Some definitions of such distinctions could be useful.
 * 19) Consider incorporating the "Extras" sections into the main body (they seem a bit disconnected/disjointed added here at the end).
 * 20) Learning Aids - maybe rename as Review Questions - I like these; well done.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:52, 13 December 2010 (UTC)