User:Atcovi/1st Book/About Shyness

Introduction
Shyness is the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness, especially when someone is in distance from someone else. Shyness commonly occurs when meeting unfamiliar people, the best example for this statement is when a boy meets a girl for the first time, they may be relatives or friends or someone else.

The initial cause of shyness varies. Scientists believe that they have located genetic data supporting the hypothesis that shyness is, at least, partially genetic. However, there is also evidence that suggests the environment in which a person is raised can also be responsible for his or her shyness.

This includes child abuse, particularly emotional abuse such as ridicule. Shyness can originate after a person has experienced a physical anxiety reaction; at other times, shyness seems to develop first and then later causes physical symptoms of anxiety. Shyness differs from social anxiety, which is a broader, often depression-related psychological condition including the experience of fear, apprehension or worrying about being evaluated by others in social situations to the extent of inducing panic.

Shyness may come from genetic traits, the environment in which a person is raised and personal experiences. Shyness may merely be a personality trait or can occur at certain stages of development in children.

Main Idea

 * It will be the focus of this textbook chapter to discuss what shy is, how to come over shyness and to learn what shyness really is.

What is the Definition of Shyness?
Shyness is a personality trait that produces behaviors ranging from feeling uncomfortable at a party to an extreme fear of being watched by others while talking on the telephone.

Quote
"I wondered how many people there were in the world who suffered, and continued to suffer, because they could not break out from their own web of shyness and reserve, and in their blindness and folly built up a great distorted wall in front of them that hid the truth. -Daphne du Maurier|"

How is Shyness a problem?
If you're shy, you cannot express yourself. You cannot show your skills, the world will see the person who is shy as air. The people won't see the person's talent or skills.

Shyness is a problem to a lot of people, and it is not easy to overcome shyness.

Why Shyness is a problem
But, I used to wonder, Why should I have to get over my shyness? Like most shy people, I flunked the classic test for extroversion: Does social contact energize or exhaust you? Do you come home from a party buzzing with positive excitement or depleted and haunted by the echoes of every stupid thing you said and did?

Depleted and haunted, that was my usual post-party hangover. Besides, experts like Drs. Carducci and Zimbardo are quick to say there's nothing intrinsically wrong with being shy. Shy people are often empathic and sensitive, good listeners and keen observers of human behavior (many writers and actors, from Emily Dickinson to Julia Roberts, identify themselves as shy). And a shy person's desire to spend time alone can be a very positive thing: It is doubtful that, had Albert Einstein been a party animal, he would have been able to shut himself off from the world long enough to give us E=mc^2. So wouldn't it be better if I just honored my shy nature and kept to myself?

Not really, experts say. Shyness is a barrier to social contact, and social contact is a basic human need. Research has shown that those who don't have enough of it tend to "experience more physical and emotional difficulties than well-connected individuals," according to Dr. Carducci. And in other studies, aspects of shyness have been linked to depression, cardiovascular disease, and reduced life expectancy. Gulp. Aren't sweaty palms and a pounding heart enough? Besides, it always felt as though I was born shy.

Effects of Shyness
1. Shyness decreases your ability to make new friends.

Shyness may keep you from talking to new people. You may not realize what these people have to offer your life and your personality because you cannot work up the courage to even speak with them.

Your shyness may appear to be a desire to be left alone, and may keep others from approaching you.

2. Shyness decreases your ability to enjoy social situations and hobbies.

There are many recreational activities that involve large crowds or groups. There are recreational hobbies that involve partner or group work.

Do you find you stay away from these fun activities because the crowds or the chance you may have to speak in front of people scare you too much? The effects of shyness can rob you of valuable recreational time that would relax you and add fun to your life.

3. Shyness can diminish your performance at work.

If you could control your shyness, you may have the potential to overcome the effects of shyness and become a great leader. You may be a top salesperson. You may be an effective teacher or trainer.

When you learn to harness your shyness and overcome your social anxiety, you will be better able to explore your professional opportunities and grow into a career that is more satisfying.

4. Shyness may cause anxiety and stress that is detrimental to your health and immune system.

When you are vulnerable to intense stress due to your shyness, you set your system up for all of the negative effects of stress. The effects of shyness can result in high blood pressure, decreased immune function, and hypertension - a few symptoms of stress that might be induced by your shyness.

As you can see, the effects of shyness range from moderate to severe. Regardless of how badly your shyness affects your life, you can overcome this condition to become a confident person. Examine the effects of shyness on your life and decide today to make a life change!

The root of your Shyness
Think about the root of your shyness. Shyness doesn't necessarily equate to being introverted or not liking yourself. It simply means that for some reason you get embarrassed when the spotlight hits you. What's the root of your shyness? It's generally the symptom of a larger problem. Here are three possibilities: • You have a weak self-image. This happens when we evaluate ourselves and that voice in our heads is negative. It's tough to stop listening to it, but at the end of the day it's your voice and you can tell it what to say.

• You are preoccupied with how you come off. This happens when we focus too much on ourselves. Because we spend all day monitoring our actions and making sure we don't mess up, we assume everyone else is too. We'll talk about turning the focus on others if this sounds like you.

• You are labeled as shy by others. Sometimes, when we're little, we're shy. Unfortunately, people latch onto that and treat us as such, even when our personalities grow out of it. It's possible that others have lumped you into this category and you're trying to accommodate them. The good news? You only have to accommodate yourself. •Whatever your reason, it's doable to get over it. They're all ways of thinking and thinking is the one thing you have control over. Yes!

Conquering your Shyness
Practice speaking clearly to yourself. This will help avoid the potential embarrassment of needing to repeat what you said due to mumbling or talking too quietly. You gotta get used to hearing your own voice! Loving it, even.

• Record yourself pretending to have conversations. It sounds ridiculous, sure, but you'll notice patterns, when and why you drop off, times when you assume you're speaking loudly but you're really not, etc. At the beginning you'll feel like an actor (and do things actors do to get in the moment), but it will become old hat. Practice makes habit, you know!

[Basically, try practicing, feel brave and strong, remember that there is no reason to be shy!]

Just two simple steps into overcoming your shyness.

Quiz
{What is Shyness. - A – Shyness is when you flip your cake. + B - Shyness (also called diffidence) is the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness especially when a person is in proximity to other people. - C - Shyness (also called diffidenced) is the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness especially when a person is in proximity to other people.
 * type="[]"}

{"I wondered how many people there were in the world who suffered, and continued to suffer, because they could not break out from their own web of shyness and reserve, and in their blindness and folly built up a great distorted wall in front of them that hid the truth." ~ Who made this quote? + A – Daphne du Maurier - B - Dr. Carducci - C - Dr. Zimbardo
 * type="[]"}

{How can shyness be a problem? + A – Because it can cause difficulty for making friends. + B - Because it can cause difficulty for self expression. + C - Because you can't let people see your talent. - D - Because a shy person gets scared about being in public. - F - All of the above
 * type="[]"}