User:Cherrykyle

=Analytical Writing=

Group Name
Drugs not Hugs

Critique
((I'm not exactly sure where to post this so I'll put it in your critique section. Makes sense right?))

First off, I think this is an excellent topic and it obviously has a lot of personal relevance to you as a person. I think you might be able to make it a bit less like a rant though. And I wasn't sure what to make of the indented sections, they didn't really fit with the rest of the essay. Otherwise good job. JenniferBrannon

Personal Essay
Kyle Cherry Analytical Writing Personal Essay 12-02-09

'''Personal Essay '''

When one thinks of insurance, in todays America, thoughts of despair and hate come to mind. Insurance companies have been making record profits but we continue to pay more each year, getting less coverage. Health insurance need reform in many ways. By using my own experiences I hope to paint a picture of why we need insurance reform.

In the last two years I have had four different insurance plans from four different companies. Each insurance company had their own quirks and problems except for one. For five months, I was covered by my employer with Microsoft Alumni Heath Insurance. The Microsoft Insurance was provided by United Heath Care, covering almost everything I needed. I got what I, and my employer, was paying for. The three other heath insurance providers have been a pain and covered very little and cost the same.

It is not heath care that needs reforming, it is the insurance. We need to create laws that make heath insurance competitive, forcing better rates and service. If insurance could be sold across state lines it would remove the monopolistic control within each state. The experience would be more like buying a new car than being robed.

I have acid reflex disease. To prevent me from having heart burn throughout the day, I have to take a prescription acid reducer. Not all acid reducers work as well as others and some have harsh side effects. Since the age of 13, I have been taking a medication called Aciphex. Aciphex has worked with no side effects. I continued to use it until a year ago when my insurance dropped it from my plan. They did this without warning.

I went to pickup my prescription at the drug store only to find it was not what I was prescribed. After researching the new drug, I discovered it had common side effects like diarrhea and bone loss. The bone loss could happen if taken for more than 14 days. I don't know about you but I would rather have heart burn than weak bones or diarrhea. For a few months I payed out of pocket, over $200 per month. I would continue to pay but I can not afford to spend the money I would spend on food on prescription drugs.

Since having Aciphex dropped, I have been prescribed five drugs. Each time I get one, I try it only to find that it does not work as well or at all. Some have given me side effects like very dry mouth, gas, and stomach pain. All I want is to not have bad heart burn. If left untreated I could get esophageal cancer from the daily damage.

Doctors can force the insurance company to cover a drug if deemed necessary. I have seen four different doctors looking for one that would fight for me. All four doctors said they would help me get the right medication but they never did. Two of the doctors would write me a prescription for Aciphex but when the insurance company denied it, the doctor would do nothing. The other two doctors would only write me a prescription for a drug that I am sure they were promoting or getting kickbacks on.

It seems everyone in this country wants all health care run by the government. If you think heath insurance is bad now just think what it would be like if it were run by the Department of Motor Vehicles or some other government department. On a good day, you go to the DMV only to be in great anger upon leaving. I would take a bad phone call to BlueCross, and their bad customer service, any day over a trip to the DMV.

After seeing four different doctors and paying around $1000 I got a 30 day supply. It was not one of the doctors that got it for me but a nurse. She listened to me and did what she could to help. She also had acid reflex and I think she could relate to my situation. It took her a half an hour to convince the insurance company to cover it. That dose not seem like a lot of work but then again I am not a doctor. Why non of the doctors would do it I don't know.

The 30 day supply is close to running out. It will be interesting to see if I can get it refilled. We need insurance reform laws, forcing insurance to be competitive. All it takes is one insurance company to give a decent coverage plan and everyone will switch to it. The bottom line is we need a fix to health insurance.

Personal Essay Draft

Kyle Cherry Analytical Writing

11-18-09

'''Personal Essay ''' When one thinks of insurance, in todays America, thoughts of despair and hate come to mind. Insurance companies have been making record profits but we continue to pay more each year, with less coverage.

In the last two years I have had four different insurance plans from four different companies. Each insurance company had their own quirks and problems except for one. For a span of five months, I was covered by my employer with Microsoft Alumni Heath Insurance. The Microsoft Insurance was provided by United Heath Care, covering almost everything I needed. I got what I, and my employer, was paying for. The three other heath insurance providers have been a pain and covered very little and cost the same.

To all those idiotic within my boarders, listen. It is not heath care that needs reforming, it is the insurance. We need to create laws that make heath insurance competitive, forcing better rates and service. If insurance could be sold across state lines it would remove the monopolistic control within each state. The experience would be more like buying a new car than being robed.

I have sever acid reflex disease. To prevent me from having heart burn throughout the day, I have to take a prescription acid reducer. Not all acid reducers work as well as others and some have harsh side effects. Since the age of 13, I have been taking a medication called Aciphex. Aciphex has worked with no side effects. I continued to use it until a year ago when my insurance dropped it from my plan. They did this without warning.

I went to pickup my prescription at the drug store only to find it was not what I was prescribed. After researching the new drug, I discovered it had common side effects like diarrhea and bone loss. I don't know about you but I would rather have heart burn than diarrhea. For a few months I payed out of pocket, over $200 per month. I would continue to pay but I can not afford to spend the money I would spend on food on prescription drugs.

Everyone in this dumb country wants health care reform. If you think heath insurance is bad now just think what it would be like if it were run by the Department of Motor Vehicles, DMV, or some other government department. On a good day, you go to the DMV only to be in great anger upon leaving. I would take a bad phone call to BlueCross, and their bad customer service, any day over a trip to the DMV.

Since having Aciphex dropped, I have been prescribed five drugs. Each time I get one, I try it only to find that it does not work as well or at all. Some have given me side effects like very dry mouth, gas, and stomach pain. All I want is to not have bad heart burn. If left untreated I could get esophageal cancer from the daily damage.

Self Assessment
'''"What did I learn in this class, and what do I have left to learn?" '''

I learned about conducting research, structuring a paper, and how to try and make a point within my essays. I also learned that vinyl, or Blue Vinyl, is bad.... Awesome movie!

I feel like I need to learn more about sentience structure and how not to be overly wordy, getting to the point.

'''"What did I do well in this class, and what could I have done better?" '''

I did well in participating in my group and getting my portion of our project done. I also did well at showing up and not missing to many classes.

I feel that I could have done better at keeping the group on track and contacting our missing group members each week. We did well most of the time but some weeks we only had three or four people show. This made it hard to get everything done smoothly.

'''"How do I feel prepared, or unprepared, to continue my studies at this point?" '''

I feel somewhat prepared. This class, as well as, the classes I took before this one, have helped me to feel more confident in writing papers. Within the industrial design program, we normally have to write one research paper for each design class.

'''"How did I contribute to the experiences of other students in this class?" '''

I tried to keep my group on track and when I could, help the other members of my group. I also helped edit the Advertising group page by making minor edits.