User:Sandy~enwikiversity/Week 10 Relationships

Week 10 - Relationships
Relationships stem from our desire for affiliation and a clear need to belong

Our Need to Belong
Evolution – there are more resources available to us when we form groups. Survival is much more difficult when we are alone We seek balanced relationships Solitary is used as an one of the strongest and extreme forms of punishment

Marriage


 * People who marry (and stay married) live longer and healthier lives. Having said this, the marriage needs to be a happy one.

Reinforcement Theory
We associate an attractive person with reward
 * Behaviours reinforced are usually repeated
 * We attract those we see as rewarding to us
 * The reinforcement affect model is based on the principles of classical conditioning

Reciprocity


 * We like those who like us
 * Mimicking another increases the chance of them liking us
 * We prefer relationship that are psychologically balanced
 * We like most people the most if they initially dislike us then later like us

Interpersonal Attraction

 * Like a magnetic force field
 * Ingratiation (giving compliments) is one of the techniques of attraction
 * To show ingratiation we give compliments
 * Similarity attracts – over time similar people end up together. E.g. race, class
 * In the short term opposites attract but hey stay together less than people who are similar (matching hypothesis)
 * There are risks in joining a new group so people look for similarity
 * People become more similar over time and couples that stay together tend to have worked out their differences through compromise

The gain/loss hypothesis Playing hard to get makes you more attractive

Social Exchange Theory
We are motivated to increase benefits while decreasing the cost in relationships The benefits or rewards might be love and companionship while the costs might be effort and compromise.
 * Comparison level for alternatives – rewards elsewhere, is there something better?
 * Social comparison
 * Sunk Investment – what we have put in to the relationship can’t be recovered and can hold us in the relationship i.e. children

Equity Theory

 * Input to output balance for both parties is desirable
 * You can only take more from a relationship if you put in more
 * We prefer relationships that are psychologically balance
 * We are motivated to restore balance in relationships
 * commitment to a relationship is weaker when there are many high-quality alternative partners available

Propinquity

 * Exposure to the same people or psychological proximity e.g. same neighbourhood or tribe
 * Mere exposure of effect – familiar things become more attractive
 * Overexposure can reduce liking
 * Availability and expectation of continued interaction are desirable

'Familiarity and exposure


 * Social allergy effect – annoying habits become more annoying over time
 * Familiarity and repeated exposure can either make bad things worse or encourage liking

Attractiveness

 * Mostly we prefer attractive over un-attractive
 * Attractiveness represents superiority over other traits
 * Attractive children are more popular
 * Babies respond more positively to attractive faces
 * For men clothing represents wealth an status and this represents attractiveness

Beauty

 * We agree on what is beautiful but not necessarily why
 * Evolutionary psychology – beauty in woman represents, health, youth and fertility
 * Symmetry is attractive
 * Average or typical faces are considered more attractive than ‘different’ faces
 * Although there are some cultural and historical differences we generally agree on what is thought to be beautiful

Rejection & Social Exclusion

 * We are psychologically programmed to try to connect and belong
 * It is bad for our to not belong and effects our inner states like self-esteem
 * When a person develops ‘’rejection sensitivity’’ they expect rejection and become hypersensitive to possible rejection|
 * The extent of the effect of the rejection depends on the value of the relationship and the rejection signal
 * Comparison level for alternatives; is there something better?
 * Social comparison
 * Our initial reaction is one of emotional numbness

Love Relationships
There are two types of love: Important for the start of a relationship but not good for long term commitment as it based on a temporary state important for successful marriages
 * Passionate – intense feelings of longing, desire and excitement
 * Companionate – mutual understanding and affection for those we share our lives with

‘’’Sternberg’s Triangular Model of Love’’’
 * Passion – ‘’motivational’’ – physiological arousal
 * Intimacy – ‘’emotional’’ – closeness, understanding and support
 * Commitment – ‘’cognitive’’ – long term conscious decision and defining it as love

Attachment Styles

 * Secure attachment– trust in self and other to continue to provide love and support
 * Preoccupied attachment – don’t avoid close relationships but do experience high anxiety and more negative attitudes towards themselves
 * Dismissing avoidant – keep relationships at a distance which keeps anxieties low. More reliant on self than others
 * Fearful avoidant – high anxiety and high avoidance, low self opinion

Avoidant Attachment Styles
 * have a need to belong but inner conflict
 * want contact but fear closeness
 * same amount of social contact as others
 * may have several partners none of which are close

Ending Relationships
There are four stages once the relationship has started to fail:

1. Loyalty – stay and wait for an improvement 2. Neglect – let the deterioration happen 3. Voice behaviour – try and work it out/improve things 4. Exit behaviour – the end of the relationship

../Week 11 Groups/