User:U118741

Feedback provided re bookchapter: Menstrual cycle and emotion

Hi Linda, many thanks for your considered feedback regarding my book chapter (topic 41) on flow and mastery. With respect to your book chapter regarding the menstrual cycle and emotion, I, much like the other contributors, found your treatment informative and interesting. Great work! I particularly liked your comprehensive use of headings, figures and drop down menus, which added clarity and interactivity to a complex topic. For your review and consideration, I have included some more specific suggestions, as follows:

The first reference to the word 'menstrual' after the 'Overview' heading may benefit from being externally hyperlinked to a web page that defines/discusses it as a stand alone concept. I understand the phrase 'menstrual cycle' is hyperlinked in the next section so you may have already considered the pros and cons of not including the hyperlink on the first mention of the term. Under the same Overview heading, the same suggestion is made in respect of terms such as: 'memes'; 'emotion'; and 'mood'. Likewise, the reference to 'youtube videos' may benefit from being linked to an example video, the same applies to the term 'articles'. Linking the above text may assist in clarifying terminology and illustrating concepts that form part of the basis for understanding what follows.

Under the heading 'Menstrual cycle', the term 'fertile' may benefit from a hyperlink. In this section, I was impressed by your use of a quiz to establish a baseline with regard to the reader's initial level of knowledge. If this is the purpose, you may even wish to consider placing the first quiz even earlier in the article? Question 4 of the first quiz contains a reference to the term 'eggs', which I'm not sure has been previously defined in the article. If this is the case, you may wish to define or clarify the term prior to its inclusion in a quiz question.

Under the heading 'Hormones and the menstrual cylce', a full stop may be required after the hyperlinked term 'ovaries'. The table on Hormones, Location and Function contains a reference to 'Brain' as the location for GnRh, you may wish to consider a more specific location reference. The reference to 'reals' under the Function heading may be a typo.

Under the heading 'Emotions', you have a useful figure setting out some core/complex emotions. You may wish to insert pictures of what people look like when experiencing some of these emotions. In this section, when you write 'it is considered', you may wish to consider specifying by whom it is considered or perhaps incorporating a link. The 'Fact box' was an effective way to highlight this important information. I note your use of links here regarding terms such as 'mood', and you may have already considered that such links were better here rather than on first use of the terms earlier in the article.

Under the heading 'menstrual cycle disorders', when introducing the list of symptoms, you may wish to consider using the words 'may include one or more of the following'. PMS and PMDD may benefit from being linked. In figure 4, lists of symptoms are provided. I noted with interest that feeling and physiological symptoms were listed but cognitive elements (e.g. per cognitive theory discussed later) were not.

Under the heading 'biorhythm theory', the term 'pseudo-theory' is used and may benefit from a link. While it's on my mind, you may wish to incorporate a section on directions for future research on your topic of choice.

With respect to figure 5, you may wish to increase the font size of the text, if this is convenient.

Under the heading 'cognitive theory', the term aetiology may benefit from an explanatory link.

Under the heading 'treatment options', it may be useful to incorporate information on whether incorporating saffron into a woman's dietary intake is of assistance.

The final quiz contained a good mix of relatively simple and more challenging questions. Your list and use of the references was impressive.

Thanks again for your feedback and I hope the above is of some assistance.

Kind regards

Daniel u118741

Feedback provided re bookchapter on: 'group sport motivation: what motivates participation in groups sports?'

Hi Micah Thank you for providing feedback with regard to my bookchapter (topic 41 Flow and Mastery), which was very helpful. I have had the pleasure of reading your bookchapter and would like to offer you the following comments by way of feedback:

The use of links in your opening paragraph was very useful in filling in gaps in my knowledge regarding the example you used. According to another wikipage I found via google, football is the most played team sport in Australia. You may wish to include a hyperlink to the wiki page on football in Australia? I like your use of text boxes and figure 1 is very dynamic, which adds interest.

Your contents table is structured very clearly and corresponds to logical groupings of the subject matter presented.

Under the 'overview' heading, you may wish to consider including links for words such as: 'groups', 'team' and 'basic motivations' that help define these terms. You wrote: '...highest elite level, to young children kicking around...'. You may wish to consider: '...to young children playing sport on a Saturday...'.

Under the 'what is motivation' heading, your use of links for movere and Reeve were well placed.

Under the 'theories for group sport...' heading, you may wish to consider linking the word theories to a wiki page that defines what a theory is. The same applies under the next heading in respect of the word 'taxonomy'.

Under the paragraph commencing 'Amotivation is described', you may wish to consider your use of colons and semi-colons when creating a list. Alternatively, it may be useful to present such a list in the form of dot points or a table.

Figure 3 was very helpful in clearly placing a number of concepts in relation to SDT. Just above figure 3, you wrote '...The three needs or autonomy...', consider instead: 'The three needs of autonomy...'

In the paragraph commencing 'The component of autonomy symbolises...', the word 'research' in the second sentence may benefit from a reference or explanatory hyperlink.

There is a list at the end of the first paragraph under the heading 'competency', which you may wish to consider presenting as dot points to increase the clarity of the presentation. The next paragraph contains a reference to surfing and golf, both of which may benefit to links to webpages outlining what these sports entail (much as you have done for 'soccer' and 'basketball' in the next paragraph.

In the para beginning 'The needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness...', you wrote: 'SDT theory...', consider deleting the word theory as it is excess.

The first para under the heading 'achievement goal theory' begins by establishing the acronym AGT, however later in the same para the words in full are used for some reason, perhaps continue to use AGT.

Figure 5 was missing a picture when I viewed your chapter, perhaps check it is there.

The hyperlink used for 'mastery goal' was helpful and the figure 6 was an excellent choice.

Under the heading 'external motivational factors' consider an intext citation for the second sentence. In the next para, consider inserting the word 'context' between the phrases '...the socio-environmental...' and '...that influences...' as the sentence may flow better. In the same para, consider using AGT instead of the full name as you have already introduced the acronym previously.

The para beginning 'A significant study grounded in SDT and AGT...' had an excellent use of research findings and helpful hyperlinks. The end of the first para under the heading 'social loafing' also had an effective summing up of research implications. You may wish to consider making reference to areas that future research could/should focus on. You may also wish to link the phrases 'perceived loafing' and 'social compensation' to web pages that describe these terms in more detail, such as you effectively did with the illustration of individual effort and conjunctive tasks under the 'kohler effect' heading.

The 'TEAM formula' was very informative, if not your own formulation, perhaps consider a reference or link. Having a link to a quiz instead of setting the whole thing out was a creative/sleek way of presenting the quiz. Your list of references looked impressive.

Under the external links section, perhaps consider a link to www.footballaustralia.com.au as it relates to your major example and has useful information for those wanting to get involved at various levels.

Thanks again for taking the time to review my chapter on flow and for providing useful feedback. I enjoyed reading your chapter and found it informative.

Kind regards

Daniel u118741

Feedback provided regarding bookchapter: Running and depression: What role can running play in the treatment of depression? by u3096454

Hi Michelle

Thanks for providing very useful feedback regarding my bookchaper on flow and mastery. I've had the pleasure of reviewing your bookchapter and was very impressed indeed! Your content is clear and logically sequenced. The overview introduction built interest on the basis of shared interest and clearly established the importance of the topic. Figure 1 was an excellent find and your use of hyperlinks was very effective and placed well. The spacing between dot points under the heading 'what causes depression?' was not even in my viewing, you may wish to check this. Beginning paras with phrases like 'So really...people have...' was a pleasant conversational contrast to paras that were more dense. Your use of multiple quiz opportunities helped with retention, and the same applies to the use of 'how does this apply to running' text.

You may wish to consider hyperlinking the phrase 'runner's high' to the relevant wikipage, which itself had a lot of interesting related information.

The focus on running is clear, however, given the benefits of running are so great and the dangers of depression are also significant, you may wish to consider making a small reference to alternatives to running that offer similar benefits without some of the injury risks that can arise with running, which may broaden the audience for your chapter.

Under your external links, you may wish to include links to organisations that relate to running, given that running is a focus of your chapter. Perhaps consider: www.aura.asn.au; www.coolrunning.com.au; www.runningcalendar.com.au; and www.runningaustralia.com.au. These sites offer advice about proper running technique, safety, club, social programs and community information and much more on the benefits, lifestyle and culture that surrounds running.

Thanks again for your assistance and I wish you all the best with your chapter.

Kind regards

Daniel u118741

Feedback: Breast cancer and anxiety. How does anxiety impact on women with breast cancer?

Feedback[edit source] Hi there, thank you for reviewing my chapter on flow and mastery (chapter 41). Your comments were helpful. I hope your chapter is progressing well. In reviewing your chapter, I'd like to offer the following:

The opening few sentences were captivating in that they introduced shocking information that immediately established the scale and gravity of the problem.

You used hyperlinks and references well, and the structure, including short paras, made absorbing the concepts relatively easy. You placed figures in close proximity to relevant text which was also great.

The 'concept, definition and application' table was very helpful, however, on my reading I was unable to locate a title.

The last para before the heading 'treatment' made an important point that may be worthy of highlighting in some way, perhaps a text box of some kind. Likewise for the last sentence before the heading 'the emotional effects of breast cancer, particularly as the message is of a kind that may give hope to your readers (much like you have done with the statement 'I am the tightening...'). In regard to the sentence under this heading referring to struggling family members, you may wish to include a brief note about the specific issues they face when 'struggling' and what they can do to improve how they cope.

You may wish to consider hyperlinks for terms such as: GAD; OCD; PTSD and other similar terms in the para to assist readers find further information about these if they wish.

Under the heading 'treatment', you may wish to consider adding information regarding the growth of on-line treatment channels, which may be of particular relevance to socially isolated or socially phobic readers, those in remote locations who may still have internet access.

I found figure 7 very informative.

There is an interesting book chapter on running and depression that may also be of interest to you.

Under the heading 'who is at risk' the 3rd sentence may benefit from a reference. The last sentence in this para may benefit from highlighting in some way. Likewise for the last sentence in the next para.

Your chapter does justice to a very serious topic. You've deftly incorporated some very hopeful, even triumphant, messages, backed up by excellent references, and these messages may justify greater emphasis in terms of how they are presented.

Your chapter is very well written, a very worthwhile read indeed. Thank you again and I wish you all the best with your chapter.

Kind regards

Daniel u118741

Feedback
Chapter: Schizophrenia and motivation: What is the effect of schizophrenia on motivation and what can be done about it?

Hi there, thank you very much for reviewing my book chapter on flow and mastery (chapter 41), and also for providing helpful suggestions on how I could improve the chapter. I hope that work on your chapter is progressing well. I've reviewed your chapter and would like to offer the following comments:

Figure 1 was very interesting and quite moving in a way. You may wish to consider an appropriate hyperlink for the first word of the first sentence, 'schizophrenia'.

The first para made some excellent linkages between schizophrenia and motivation and your referencing covered the information presented effectively.

The second to last sentence in the first para appears to contain a non-word, 'intern'. Perhaps you were seeking to write 'in turn'?

Your chapter aims were appropriate and your chapter did a very effective job of delivering on those.

You may wish to consider inserting a hyperlink in your first reference to the DSM. Likewise for the first reference made to the neurodevelopmental model. Under the heading of 'causes', you may wish to consider adding references to the 3rd sentence and other sentences dealing with the two possibilities accounting for abnormal neurodevelopment.

Under the heading of 'treatment', you write '...hallucinations and disorganised thoughts, however, these medications...'. This sentence is perhaps quite long and you may wish to consider beginning a new sentence at the word 'however'.

You may wish to consider adding hyperlinks to terms such as: CBT; community case management; SDT; amotivation; expectancy value theory; social learning theory; and ecological momentary assessment, as these terms appear to bring together many other concepts that might also be of interest to your readers.

Figure 2 provides an excellent summary and I found this very useful.

It was at this point that I began to appreciate how well you use headings, paragraph structure and a clear writing style to help a reader navigate complex concepts.

Under the heading 'application of sdt', you may wish to consider inserting a reference for the second sentence. In the same para, you point out an important study limitation, and I noticed that your para endings are often very good at summing up a position discussed in the para, which assisted my understanding.

Re the paras under the headings, 'pleasure experience' and 'how does co-morbid...', you may wish to consider references for each of the first sentences therein.

Figure 3 was a great choice! The participant testimonials worked well to link the chapter material to personal impacts.

The last para before the heading 'what can be done...' appeared important enough to be highlighted in some additional way, such as with a border perhaps.

Your chapter was very informative and able to communicate a lot of complex material. You may wish to consider using more figures if you are able to find more that you feel are appropriate. Thank you again and I wish you all the best with your chapter.

Kind regards

Daniel u118741

Feedback
Chapter: Luxury good purchase motivation: What motivates people to buy luxury goods?

Hi Alex, thank you very much for reviewing my book chapter on flow and mastery (chapter 41). Your comments were very insightful, much appreciated. I hope your chapter is coming along. In reviewing your chapter, I'd like to offer the following:

Your chapter has a fantastic opening because it opens the topic far beyond my preconceptions about the significance of luxury. Your chapter could well be entitled, 'Luxury goods purchase motivation: THE SURPRISING TRUTH about what motivates people to buy luxury goods.'

You may wish to add a dot point outline comprising your chapter aims near the start of your chapter.

The BBC documentary link generated further interest in the material as did the discussion that follows regarding the paucity of research. Your chapter is helping to fill a genuine gap.

Your reference to the 'middle classes' may benefit from a reference or an appropriate hyperlink that provides readers with some context or background to this phrase. The same applies to SDT.

Under the heading 'self determination theory' you wrote: '...popularity are less important to well-being that goals...' and you may wish to change 'that' to 'than'?

You may wish to consider using a table or diagram for the 'five types of value for luxury goods' as this appears to occupy a key place in your chapter.

The last sentence before the heading 'types of customer commitment...' may benefit from a reference.

Under the heading 'placing LGPM on a continuum...' you wrote: '...illustrate this with the example of a watch In material...', you may wish to insert a full stop after the word watch.

The material presented under the heading 'LGPM and well-being', particularly regarding benefits and harms may benefit from being presented in a table or diagrammatic format as a way of summarising the salient points.

I very much enjoyed reading your chapter and thought that you brought a great deal of intelligence to the way concepts were explained, discussed and contrasted.

Thank you again for your help with my own chapter and I wish you all the best with yours.

Kind regards

Daniel u118741

Feedback
Chapter: Digestive system and emotion

Hi Tessa

Thanks for your advice regarding my bookchapter on flow and mastery (No. 41), much appreciated. I've looked at your chapter and would like to offer the following:

The table of contents looks like a good plan of things you may wish to cover, is logical and gives the chapter a pertinent focus on depression and anxiety.

Figure 1 was not only informative but also serves as a visual reminder that your topic is relevant to just about anyone with a relatively similar anatomical make up to that shown.

I entirely agree that the topic you've chosen is exciting, even amazing, because of its relevance to most of us and the potential applications. I admire the intelligence of your choice in topic.

You may wish to consider inserting hyperlinks on the first use of terms and names such as: microbe; microbiota; Joshua Lederberg (as you've done with Elie Metchnikoff); and emotions.

Under the heading 'microbiomes', you may wish to visually highlight the sentence beginning 'Lederberg highlighted the importance...' as goes to the core of your subject matter and sets the scene for what is to follow.

You may wish to insert a reference for the first sentence under the heading 'emotions'. Likewise for the last sentence, under the same heading, and also for the sentence currently under the heading 'mood disorders'. You may wish to consider the use of a table that provides a summary of microbes and mood disorders, or perhaps a diagram to highlight relationships between the two.

Figure 4 is just a wonderful photo.

Under the heading 'conclusion', you may wish to distinctly highlight the challenges associated with proposed interventions, also in a presentation sense. You may also wish to identify where the gaps in research are. You may also wish to note the rapidly expanding global industry around gut health and the role of science in separating fact from fiction, and where people can go to get science based advice (see suggestions below).

Your reference list looks impressive.

In any 'links' section, you may wish to consider including:

www.gutfoundation.com.au www.gesa.org.au

The latter has an interesting section on 'clinical updates' and statistics, which may be of assistance. If you perform a site search using the term 'depression', I suspect you will find information that is of relevance to your chapter. I also found an article, which may be of interest: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2015/05/17/gut-bacteria-brain-health.aspx

Thanks for inviting me to look at your very fascinating chapter!

Kind regards

Daniel u118741