User talk:CHugginson/An Olympic Sport?

New title and the balance
Nice one. I like how you're using a narrative, and telling it in such a way so as to withhold the punch, wary of putting off readers who may hold the stigma you're talking about. Its a good strategy, and shows awareness of your audience. I suggest changing the title though, perhaps just "An Olympic Sport" so you don't give it away from the start. Also, be careful not to evangelise (sell) too much. Make sure you represent as many perspectives on this issue as you can. Think of your reader as a foreigner, who simply wants to understand how business and politics interplay around this new sport. Leighblackall 12:00, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

Fascinating ... I am looking forward to the full essay. Postillion 11:14, 13 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Thank you for the feedback guys. CHugginson 04:56, 15 September 2011 (UTC)

Content structure progress
Good looking progress on the content structure. I notice that the politics section is still hanging... I'm sure you have many ideas for that, gender issues, sexuality, stigma, the difference between performance and sport, more.. you're just thinking on what to include and what not to include. I'm surprised not to see a link to gymnastics being suggested yet... surely some of the events in gymnastics had a similar historic controversy around their entry into the Olympics... This is shaping up to be a really interesting essay, and you've done well so far in thinking about how business and politics intersect around pole dancing from a local to international scale. Leighblackall 01:13, 16 September 2011 (UTC)


 * Thanks Leigh, i have changed my subheading how to become an olympic sport to.. If Rhythmic Gym and Synchronised Swwiming can do it. These sports only allow for female competitors to compete. From my limited knowledge of the IOC i thought for a sport to be included it had to promote social inclusion... CHugginson 11:29, 16 September 2011 (UTC)

Caren, I think this is developiong into a fascinating article. I think you are heading down the right track! Do not worry about flow. The reader can make the flow happen. (Keith) Postillion 02:39, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

Fixed the formatting
Caren, keep going, it does actually flow - the structure of section headings alone makes a good argument, so now you just need to get the text in there :)

I've fixed a few wiki code problems, mainly the images, and removing the text tag you had on level 3 section headings. Also, I've added the reference list tag at the bottom, seeing as you used a ref tag in one of the sections. Great if you decide to keep using that ref tag throughout. See if you can work it out :)

Its looking great, keep going. Leighblackall 22:50, 16 October 2011 (UTC)

Communication with Industry Professionals
I have gained permission from Natasha Wang USA World Champion to use her photos in my presentation as long as the photographer is credited :) --CHugginson 00:10, 20 October 2011 (UTC)