User talk:Jms2117

InResponseToEkphrastic
Hey so this is in response to your Ekphrastic post John Schlicht. I like it, the story is great and the dialouge you use gives me a clear picture of the person telling the story. I only vaugley remeber the old Paul bunyon story, and mostly I just picture the animated cartoons I have seen. What I like here is that you have taken something that is purely mythical and turned it into something of a debunked myth. Have you read the stories of Pecos Bill, I ask because I think those would be great stories to use in the same manner. I read your other post's as well and I think you have a great Sense of imagination keep up the good work!

ResponseTo"I Remember Paul Bunyan"
Responder: Ryan Lervick

I really enjoyed your piece on the life and times of Paul Bunyan as seen by his fellow man. I think it used alot of nice imagination, especially to write in a style of language that i think did a good job of fitting the time that you were trying to set the piece in. I liked how you related the story through a man that became an aquaintance of Paul Bunyans through the craft of felling timber. It was cool how he talked of how it really was, and helped us to understand how things were exxagerated and stretched from the truth. I also have not read or even thought about paul bunyan in a long time. I think i remember him from old stories my mom used to read, but this brought back memories and it is a nice story to hear, and written in a god style that is similar to the book we read "my Jim" in the sense that it is told from a fireside story perspective or one that is being pasted down from one person to another. Good job on the story.


 * John,

I am deeply impressed by your writing style. Your grasp of words is impressive. Shall I share some of my favorite lines? "eldritch energies glowing a sickly green through their eyes," "antediluvian automatons," the entire second paragraph... I could go on, but I'd probably end up listing the entire story. The pictures you paint with your words are so vivid! I can easily imagine the entire battle sequence - from the undead armies with their baleful green glows to the mass of soldiers fighting against them.

So, I have to ask, did you have a character named Koranus who died? Or did one of your friends? Or does Koranus still live in your game? Just curious, since I'm an avid gamer myself. Granted, I usually stick to pencil and paper games without miniatures (D&D, Shadowrun, L5R to name a few), so no Warhammer for me.

I was wondering because there have been some spectacular deaths in the games I have played - and some spectacular battle sequences. So I was wondering how much of the story happened in game, and how much was added after. I'd believe it if you said the entire attack was a description of a battle you played. Ah - it makes me wistful for my old roleplaying games... CarrieBerg 03:36, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

To John:

Good job on the Paul Bunyan piece, it was always one of my favorite stories. it was easy to read, even though you typed it through the accent. The style really shows in this writing, even though you didn't explain the character who was talking at all before you started. I immediately had the old miner/logger voice right from the start playing through my head, that is a hard thing to pull off because it can be a burden if it is overdone, like in My Jim for instance, the accents were strong and limited the reading to a tougher and slower read. I would have like My Jim if the author had tweaked the language to make it an easier read. it probably also helped that you had punctuation while she didn't, i could actually tell when people were talking in your piece.

as for the story, it is nice to have an actual person be recognized as Paul Bunyan, in the books he is always the size of a mountain, which is not realistic. i always wondered about why he was that big and found it saddening as a child since he was portrayed as an American hero that pretty much his only defining attribute was his size and that was impossible for me to recreate. Hearing a story where he is actually a real human is a nice change of pace. if kids were told this story i doubt he would be as interesting though, now he is just a really tall but nice lumberjack, where is the excitement in that. now that i think about it, Paul Bunyan comes off as a real bad character. i have no way to relate to him since most of the nice things he does is just because of his size, sure i could save a guy who was trapped in a landslide 10 miles away if all i had to do was take 4 steps and pickup a handful of dirt, but i cant. he is rewarded for his freakish size, which i guess can be a good moral, but he should be rewarded for his good deeds, he should actually work for his good deeds though. a good deed isn't really a good deed if you don't have to go out of your way to do it. its helpful but not commendable. - Alex Edelsward

John Schlicht: The Peachalk That was cool! You, although I can understand and relate to fanning over authors like Lovecraft, have a talent for writing that should not be overshadowed with discussion of other peoples works. In my opinion you should concentrate on writing your own stuff, inspired or otherwise, as you have a knack for keeping a reader enthralled. Focus your energy into communicating your passion for your work (which is clear in your presentation) by doing more of it! I like how you started from the outside and worked your way into the legend of the creature, rather than starting it with the Peachalk. I found that to be a refreshing taste of literature that is not done nearly often enough. http://www.elizabethmoon.com/biblio-paks.htm This is a link to an author recommended by a friend of mine who read your work and enjoyed it as well! I myself recommend “Grunts” by Mary Gentle. The description I got before I picked it up and read it (completely unable to put it down, mind you) was, “Think orcs with machine guns.” And so I pass that on to you. It is so very much more than that! I think as a fellow avid reader and writer you could appreciate them. Sethleneelliott